I thank Father Ray for giving me this special opportunity. From time to time I have some thoughts that I wish to share. I am in awe that Father Ray can do this every week. Father Ray was also kind enough to spend an hour and a half with me, discussing a draft and its ideas.
I want to talk with you this morning about courage, bravery, cowardice, fear, nervousness, and the like. My primary motivation is that I know that fear can be a thief, that one can be robbed of countless opportunities for no good reason. Indeed, I feel that this kind of stealing is the Devil's work, because the individual and the world end up worse for it.
I have been paralyzed by fear in my past, and, regrettably, I often see people who are paralyzed by fear. Who wants to be paralyzed? Who wants to miss out on many of life's rewarding opportunities because of fear? Yet, it happens to all of us at one time or another. How can we put fear aside, in its place, at least long enough to do something that we would really like to do, or that we need to do?
There is reason for hope. There are methods for handling fear, methods that can be learned and practiced. I am reminded of the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz. He lamented the fact that he didn't actually want to scare anyone, and he was certain that he would run the other way if he were ever in danger. He tried to do what lions do, but it just didn't interest him.
Yet, when it came time to do battle with the Wicked Witch of the West, to protect Dorothy and to win her return home, his courage was right there, and he rose to the occasion magnificently. Had he not wanted to save Dorothy, whom he loved and admired, he may well have run the other way. His fear of Dorothy coming to harm was greater than his own fear of himself coming to harm. He knew what was important. If you need to put your fear aside because something else is more important or compelling, you can. Of course, one needs to be careful about drawing conclusions from fictional characters, but the phenomenon of "rising to the occasion" is very real and well known. I would bet that you have risen to an occasion at one time or another.
This is what courage is all about, the ability to control one's fear. The Random House Dictionary defines "courage" as "the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc. without fear." In one way or another, one puts aside the fear, eliminating or banishing it so that it becomes either non-existent or harmless. One functions without fear, or as though one has no fear.
Back when I was a freshman in music conservatory, I had a sophomore friend, who had just played beautifully and perfectly at his first student recital. I asked him how he managed not to be scared witless when performing, especially before an audience of budding musicians who knew everything he needed to do, and who would catch any mistake instantly. His reply was that he felt he brought something unique to the music, that he had to concentrate intently to do everything he wanted, and that he was so focused that he had no chance even to think about fear.
There are lesser fears. When one's blood is drawn, the nurse warns "little pinch" just before plunging the needle into one's flesh. The message is that if you were to feel pain, it will have its limits. There will be only a brief and small amount of pain, completely bearable, so there is no need to allow a sensation of pain to initiate any panic. This is a useful metaphor for handling fear. If the fear has limits, it can simply be tolerated for a short period of time. It is possible to accomplish something, even while feeling fear.
It happens sometimes that fear is entirely of one's own making. When I first faced a classroom of students, as a graduate student teaching assistant, I was worried, even a little panicked, about whether the students would approve of me. Fortunately, this was my job, and I was required to meet my class. I found out in the first few minutes that the students were there to get help with the material, and that they didn't care about my technique, nor my sense of well-being. My fortunes would rise or fall on how well I helped them. If you help your students at every opportunity, they will approve. I didn't need to be fearful at all. My students had taught me what was important, and that was enough for me.
Here is another example that may or may not surprise you. The first time I taught a hymn to you, the congregation, I was quite apprehensive, worried about my own solo singing, and worried about whether you would follow me. Recently, I mentioned this fearful moment to someone here at Saint Philip's, who was completely surprised. I didn't look fearful, I didn't sound fearful, I didn't act fearful; how could this be? Well, I simply wasn't scared enough that I couldn't function. Most of the time, your fear is your own curse, and nobody else knows. I knew that I needed the ability to teach hymns, and that this service to you was more important than my fear. Furthermore, it would only take a few minutes; it would be at most a little pinch. Part of my fear was not knowing how it would come out, it being a new kind of activity. Now, I am no longer worried when I teach a hymn. I know now that I can sing well enough on my own, and that you are all kind enough to participate. Now there is no fear to put aside as there is no fear at all.
Your own attitude about something can give you insight for when the shoe is on the other foot. For example, when I listen to a musician perform, I am there to enjoy the art in its moment, and hopefully to be moved. I am not there to judge this or that about the delivery. So, (shoe on the other foot) when I present a piece of music, I know that the moment is not about me. Rather, it is about offering a moment to the listener. At a church service in particular, the music is also a prayer and an offering to God.
These examples, so far, have all talked about dealing with one's fear alone, without help. Keeping in mind what is most important, focusing intently, remembering that one can function even when fearful, knowing that fear is often just a little pinch, and realizing that fear recedes with experience, are all important aspects of having courage. As you improve your ability to put your fear aside, you acquire courage.
Let me turn now to how we help those whom we know are experiencing fear. A prime example is how we help children to deal with their fears, so as to minimize risk while maximizing participation in life's opportunities and experiences. It is often apparent when a child is fearful, but everyone is fearful from time to time. We can often eliminate one large fear by breaking into several small fears, each of which is easier to handle in turn.
Consider the problem of teaching a child not to fear the water. We may first show the child how to wade, and maybe even how to play in the sand. Later, we teach the child to hold its breath. Later still, we show the child that one can hold one's breath and put one's face or head into the water without any harm. Finally, we support the child while he/she practices the motions that allow one to move along the surface, rather than to sink to the bottom.
Consider a case for adults. Suppose that even as an adult one were afraid to speak to a group, for example to you, the congregation. One could conquer much of this in steps. One could volunteer to read the lesson, thereby becoming accustomed to the surroundings of the lectern, and getting used to everyone listening to you at a particular moment. It can be very comforting to read aloud a story that has already been written, especially a scripture lesson.
If at another time you wanted to offer something of your own, you could write it out, and then, read it as a story that has already been written. What one wants to say, and stepping forward to say it, are what is important. One could choose to try out what one had written, on trusted friends ahead of time. And, if one retained a little fear, it would be just a little pinch, and no one would notice anyway. Those who are listening, especially at Saint Philip's, are rooting for you, and will focus on your message.
Passing up opportunities is unfortunate, at best. I teach my students to say "YES" when an opportunity presents itself. You and I know that opportunities are gifts from God. Just say "YES," and then do your very best. For example, in the year 2000, I received a phone call inviting me to give a keynote speech to the 400+ attendees of the leading conference in my field. What a plum! However, upon hanging up the telephone, I asked myself what on earth I had done. Then I became very fearful. But, then it largely subsided. They wouldn't have given me this opportunity if they hadn't had confidence in me. Why shouldn't I have every bit as much confidence.
I had several months until the fateful day would arrive. During that period, I did some of my hardest and best thinking. You can be sure that I presented my talk, as practice, first to my lab of graduate students, and then again to a larger group in the computer science department at the University. I was ready, and furthermore, I knew that I had something important to say that no one else knew to say. I actually enjoyed giving that talk immensely. Why wasn't I scared? There was something very much more important than my own fear. The talk wasn't about me; it was about what I had to say.
When one is out hiking with a friend, and one comes to a brook or stream to cross, it often happens that one can find stones that provide a path across the water. Nevertheless, it is natural to worry about whether a stone will shift underfoot, or whether one's foot will slip off. Either of these can lead to injury, or becoming very wet and cold. What do we do? One tactic is to hold the hand of your friend. If you, or your friend, lose your footing, there is an extra source of stability.
I find this to be a good metaphor for seeking God's help. Does Jesus always have his hand out, ready to help you cross the stream, to steady your footing? Of course, though, one should not limit oneself to seeking God's help only when worried. Whenever you are unsure of your footing, in any sense, reach for God's ready hand. From Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and of good courage, do not fear or be in dread [of them]: for it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you." And, from the 23rd Psalm, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me."
Eight days from now, I will be undergoing an aggressive cancer surgery. What is more important than my fear? The list is long, and it includes my quality of life, being with the people whom I love (particularly Karen), being there for the people who love me, setting an example (mostly for my children) for how to confront adversity, spending time with friends, and being able to do the things I enjoy, such as music and computer science. With all this in the balance, the surgery is a magnificent gift, an absolute blessing. I will follow my doctor's orders, and I expect to recover all the better for it. On a somewhat larger time scale, this will be a little pinch. I feel that I have put my fear in its place - so far so good - but I doubt that I have eliminated it entirely.
Let me suggest a worthwhile challenge. Soon, just say "YES" to at least one opportunity that you would otherwise have been too afraid or too wary to accept. Then think about what it is in this opportunity that is more important than your own fear. Share this with someone. I know that I would certainly enjoy hearing your story, any time.
Does God want us to be fearful? Well, we fear God because He is omnipotent, all powerful, but what about other fears? Some fears are very healthy - please do run out of a burning building. For the remaining kinds of fears, the answer is "NO." God does not want us to be fearful. For example, in Saint Paul's second letter to Timothy, Paul advises, "for God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love and self-control."
Finally, when I pray, I often ask for strength, for God to be with me, and for God to help me to see what is important. This morning, I pray that you and I will not be paralyzed by fear, that you and I will not consign ourselves to the sidelines, that you and I will not let fear steal life from us, and that you and I will accept happily the opportunities that are before us, and that are yet to come our way. Amen.